New Beginnings that never Start

Here's to New beginnings,

Today is the first day of Spring Forward, and for one all I can say is that I found pleasure in mixed blessings. I began my day at 7:58 am of course , much too late to begin my day with a workout. As you know the whole workout thing was definitely doable but not in my best interest especially if I intended to make it to work on time. Go Figure….


Actually to be quite honest , the first paragraph was written on Monday. Well today is Thursday and in fact it's almost Friday. At that moment (on monday) , I was rushed for time and couldn't complete. So here I am again, attempting to complete an entry with no Pressure this time. Time is not my enemy. It's barely 10:50PM .Sleep might be the only thing swaying me in another direction.


There's so much randomness in my head that I don't even know where to begin. At least I am managing to actually put my thoughts into written words.I am reminding myself why I even began blogging. This has always been a good outlet for me. Towards my goals and thoughts I poured my current ideas and thoughts. So I am back! While I may have been gone, I didn't really forget about you. Blog-wise, I seriously contemplated separating my themes and ideas. I even went as far as creating a new blog ; totally separate from this one. I just could never give myself a focal point. So as you see, I'm back.

So the ZZzzssss are steady chasing. I better call it a night. Sweet Dreams all...until next time.

It Goes Much Deeper than we think

It goes much deeper than we think,

Sometimes in life we all stumble upon speed bumps that make
us really think deeply about what is really relevant in life!

I am thankful for even the things that I do not understand

A few days ago, an incident happened to me in which I felt
betrayed by someone in whom I held my utmost confident in.

I couldn’t believe how serious I took the matter into my
hands, instead of brushing it off lightly, those actions led me to complete
numbness,

Those feelings that I Once longed to forget, the feelings of
nothingness, loneliness, paranoia , and skepticism

Those feelings indeed ate me up inside, made me realize how
important certain characters in our life are.

Instead I could have just let it go, but I just couldn’t,
once again , as usual, it put me in a sour mood for the entire day, only
because I really coudn’t figure out why and what had really happened, then I
continued to ponder and ponder and Until I really couldn’t stand myself for
that moment.

I wanted to allow
only happy warm thoughts in my mind, my body and soul. But those feelings of
betrayal layed down so heavy that my heart began to leak, it leaked feelings of
despair ,anger, and confusion. Indeed it led me to quietness, in which in my
world is completely foreign. So anyhow, since I haven’t quiet gotten the hang
of this thing called “effective expressionism of our deepest feelings “to a
tee, I then will resort to silence. Because it is within our silence in which
we are allowed to think freely and let our mind wander. Often times we are
caught up in trivial matters that don’t aid us in development. If for just a
short moment we can allow ourselves the rich rewards of silence, we can then open up feelings of
confidence and reassurance.

Forgive me if I don’t takes things that are only meant to be
taken from the surface as so but; in reality, what lies above us is also what
lies mysteriously within us. We can never be too sure of others’ intentions but
our own. One thing for sure though, is that my guard will definitely be a
little more observant than before.

Once again in moments of silence, it is goes much deeper, much ,much deeper that we think

~Lawino J Otto~