Just Being me ....June 2009

So I'm Sitting here and thinking about all of the things that have happened thus far in 2009. Today June 26, 2009 ,Who Would've figured this on a Beautiful Friday Night? As a result, I feel obliged to share my sentiments with you.

Indeed in the past few months, I managed to meander among thorns and bushes . Moreover, I have encountered many experiences from the highest of mountains to the lowest of valleys . And most of all, the biggest things that have caused these mature changes are sadly true like: the death of a loved one, the pure loss of friendship connections, life's painful lessons, and so forth. But now I will stop denying my self the moments in which this time is owed. My mindset at this present moment is to fulfill the dreams that have been already set for me. At the same time the mood at present is concurrent with the thoughts and actions of "LETTING NOTHING STOP ME" attitude.

Life, as we know it is quiet short ,my friends. Life is too short to sweat even the smallest of things. Friends I say to you, if you have any unresolved things amongst yourself, don't wait until the next day.. I beg you , don't be proud like I once was, waiting so long to tell my long-lost friend whom I deeply loved with ALL of my VERY SOUL..if ever a day went by with me not saying those simple words: "I love You"..and What would I do without you"?..and that you mean "yada yada ..blah , blah.." as it fits the situation....this moment too , it shall no longer pass. It will not pass without my thoughts exerted. I once thought that I could turn off my abilities to sympathize. VERY NOT true. To be HUMAN is to have the ability to feel or have emotions of which may also coincide with the notion of SADNESS from pain afflicted by situations. Taken for what this means, one can Speculate the moments of emotional instability, where the same individual can be Ecstatic about something and then of course, also Gravely depressed about another.

NOW as I transition to this Mature state...to whom shall I owe these burdens? I tell you from the deepest being of my heart, GO CONQUER each moment as if it is your last and LIVE it with no EXCUSES... OWN the time/hour and passing as it belongs to you. Blame only yourself for your shortcomings, but do not let it anchor you to the PAST. MOVE only FORWARD.

This new phase that I am transitioning as I say it is a WORK in PROGRESS and in no WAY will it happen overnight. GO,LIVE, LOVE,LOVE, CRY , EMBRACE and CHERISH all of the moments that are due, for you deserve that passing moment..

always and forever truest.

~Lawino-J Otto~

Papa We Will Not Forget You

Ever lose a loved? and then feel so alone?.....RIP.... this was a poem of inspiration that I wrote for my father who departed from us May 16, 2009...

It's only been a month and it still feels like yesterday... Oh how he was so loved by many and would still want the rest of us to continue his dream. This is dedicated to My Father , John Baptist Otto P'Oyat....

so please take a moment to .... here it goes....

Papa We Will Not Forget You

Papa we will not forget you, no matter what

Papa you’ve always been there for me, even times I surely felt I could not come to you, it just took a bit of time to think of all the ways I could humble myself enough to speak to you
Times changed, I grew up a little, but no matter what things I was involved in, I could only think about you and if what I was doing would please you. So highly I took your opinion. I would mention your wisdom to my friends, thinking how strong you stayed at mom’s side and with all of us. Praising God for all the days we had moments to prepare for anything, whether it be church , a school project or presentations .

As painful as it is to see you not physically here, I can surely say what a great job you’ve done . You showed us Love in every way. Not only in us, but in everyone that you encountered a conversation with .

Through your smiles, neither one of us knew how deep the physical pain you bore in your flesh. No one could truly ever know the answers that linger in our minds.
Some answers need not be answered , for they were marked days before we knew how to even cry. Now,Who to cry on ?and who to teach me to ride a bike or drive a car? Um , It was you papa that inspired me to be strong and have determination.
So you see as you know, papa, it is far too difficult to forget you, for as we know it will never happen.



But before I say goodbye to your physical being, I wish this prayer to all of us us that live on for you.

My prayer for my parents love
If only I could make you proud
Each day I think of the things that you wished for even before my day had arrived
My emotions are getting the best of me
If only I could honor you beyond your days
I think of the dreams you had before I entered this world
Pondering what if I had never been born, what kind of life would you have had?
Did I interrupt your world?
How so did I bring joy to your world?
Upon my arrival began the voyage of stress, the thoughts of how you would feed, clothe, soothe and care for me
Upon those days you lived to make a life suitable for me
Yet in days I did not understand your wisdom and benevolence
But as you are laid to rest in the soil, shall you never worry that I am cared for
As connected the other branches are here, Mom, my brothers and sisters and our beloved family and friends
Never will there be a true end , because we will all meet once again, with a path fulfilled and a dream served only with his plan.

Papa , we will never forget you,
Father no matter what, we will never forget you.
For where you are in many ways we will all be here too



~Lawino Julia Otto~