For SOME time now I have been in a constant state of REPARATION, which came right after ACCEPTANCE!

For SOME time now I have been in a constant state of REPARATION, which came right after ACCEPTANCE!

I cannot expect anyone to completely understand that statement.

I barely understand it myself.

First I will begin with the definition that I approve of the most. Compliments of www.thefreedictionary.com. Here’s what it says:

rep·a·ra·tion  (rp-rshn)

n.

1. The act or process of repairing or the condition of being repaired.

2. The act or process of making amends; expiation.

3. Something done or paid to compensate or make amends.

4. reparations Compensation or remuneration required from a defeated nation as indemnity for damage or injury during a war.

It has taken me to humbleness. Thoughts of me being hit hard with a ton of bricks has been set forth. With every step that I tried to move forward, I’ve been pushed back. So As I sat back and re-evaluated my life , I realized that life will always have its share of DISAPPOINTMENTS. I think it’s part of the journey. It’s what brings balance and even brings about greater appreciation for the blessings that we possess, big or small. I am unable to fathom anyone else’s journey, b/c my own is trying enough. Just know that whatever you are going through, when you are in the midst of it, KNOW that you are not the only one. It is true. We all go through similar things at some points in our lives. It is not important to include everyone in our trials and tribulations, but more important to seek the necessary support. So as I try to reflect the harvest season. I will bear in mind what’s meant for me. I’m only a few days to relaxation and MINDCLEARING . My major disctractions will all be severed in these next few days, as I try to center myself. So bear with me as I begin a new JOURNEY....... 

AND as always Best Health Wishes!!!!
~LawinoJ

I hate this feeling.......confudismo

I hate this feeling….Confudismo

I named it confudismo

To signify the feeling I have

It is exactly what it sounds like

A feeling of confusion

I hate this feeling… the feeling of the unknown.

The feeling that I may not know you as well as I think

Are you thinking of me as I am of you

Silly questions as those steady lingering in my mind

I just wanna cry

Should I continue ?

Or should I move on

The past days, weeks, months doing it without you..

How did I become so vulnerable?

Im just so confused

So confused in not knowing what I should do….

It sucks…when did I fall in Love?

When did it happen

I convinced myself this time that I wouldn’t give in

Since when did I tell you it was okay

All I can do is occupy my mind with other thoughts in order to function

Trying my best to not think of you

Hugging my pillow tight, late at nights with thoughts of you

Was that what you meant when you said that I should worry about what I used to do before I met you?

How Dare you say those hurtful words?

How could you?

Well thank you for this opportunity, for allowing me to spend time alone to think

It’s not so easy to see how someone can go from caring to nothing

A breath of fresh air has come my way, this breath of air has come my way and made me feel ever so exhilarated.

This fresh air has empowered me enough to see my missed calls without the feeling of panic

I will refuse to allow you to control my feelings…

The “You” that I thought I knew disappointed me.

Slowly , but yet surely, until the point of no return.

But it’s alright , I’m over it

Meanwhile you’ve done whatever on your own,

and me on my own to create the definition of this confudismo that has resulted with this answer which is clairvoyant